Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I look better un-naked...
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
