How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
