how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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