Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
