PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
it's like iHOP with fire
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
