i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
