Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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