Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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