oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
