Already got asked if we're dating
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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