Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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