Already got asked if we're dating
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
