PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
