margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
