you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
