Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
