ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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