you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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