I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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