just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
