with your own penis?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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