You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
