Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
