I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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