I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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