oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
