when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
