Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
dude. I can hear the air.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
