I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
