We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
organizing the empties. That sober.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
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Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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