We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
