its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
