Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
