I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
