shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
