You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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