i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
