i don't plan on having that self control this summer
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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