I didn't shave. On purpose
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
