she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
