So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
She's the barista slut.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
