Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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