Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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