I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
