but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize
