Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
