forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
