Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Randomize
