Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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