My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize