Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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