yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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