There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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