Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
