that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
