So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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