I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
